It's been a week since summer break has started, and also since my baptism! Praise the good Lord for all that He has done in my life, transforming my heart from a rebelled, broken, sinful one to one that is renewed, full of hope for the future and one that trusts in the strength of my Saviour.
Ever since the holidays have started, it's been non-stop doing doing doing. I've struggled to find time to quieten my heart and read His word. Today, I finally have a day at home to organise my thoughts and just spend time with God.
Just some thoughts for today's Bible reading from 2 Chronicles 12.
'After Rehoboam's position as king was established and he had become strong, he and all Israel with him abandoned the law of the Lord. Because they had been unfaithful to the LORD, Shishak king of Egypt attacked Jerusalem in the fifth year of King Rehoboam.' (v1-2)
My first feeling was sadness. How abandoned God must have felt when His people decided they didn't need Him anymore. Then, I felt convicted because I realised that this situation is painfully familiar in my life. How many times have I prayed with all my heart when the storm gets really bad, but when the skies finally clear, I revert to my old ways of half-heartedly reading His word, struggling to spend time with God because my eyes are so fixed on earthly things.
Then the prophet Shemaiah came to Rehoboam and to the leaders of Judah who had assembled in Jerusalem for fear of Shishak, and he said to them, "This is what the LORD says. 'You have abandoned me; therefore I now abandon you to Shishak.'" The leaders of Israel and the king humbled themselves and said, "The LORD is just." (v5-6)
When the LORD saw that they humbled themselves, this word of the LORD came to Shemaiah: "Since they have humbled themselves, I will not destroy them but will soon give them deliverance. My wrath will not be poured out on Jerusalem through Shishak. They will, however, become subject to him, so that they may learn the difference between serving me and serving kings of other lands." (v7-8)
When I realise my sinfulness in light of God's holiness, I am humbled and convicted. I am reminded that when we turn back to the Lord, He has mercy and grace for the humbled. The Lord relented against the destruction of His people, but still allows them to endure suffering, serving kings of other lands. I know that it is going through these sufferings and trials that will make me grow deeper in my trust and love for God and stronger in my faith. I will know the difference between serving God and serving the things of this world, because things of this world are fleeting and will always fail me, but God is the only one who satisfies and gives true joy.
Lord, humble my heart. I pray that you will open my eyes to see your glory and that I need your mercy every single day. I pray that you will remind me of your faithfulness and mercy for me, when I feel guilty and convicted. I pray that through any trials in front of me, you will draw me closer to your heart. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Friday, November 25, 2016
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
For His Mercy Is Very Great
1 Satan rose up against Israel and incited David to take a census of Israel. 2 So David said to Joab and the commanders of the troops, “Go and count the Israelites from Beersheba to Dan. Then report back to me so that I may know how many there are.” (1 Chronicles 21:1-2)
7 This command was also evil in the sight of God; so he punished Israel.
8 Then David said to God, “I have sinned greatly by doing this. Now, I beg you, take away the guilt of your servant. I have done a very foolish thing.”
9 The Lord said to Gad, David’s seer, 10 “Go and tell David, ‘This is what the Lord says: I am giving you three options. Choose one of them for me to carry out against you.’”
11 So Gad went to David and said to him, “This is what the Lord says: ‘Take your choice: 12 three years of famine, three months of being swept away[a] before your enemies, with their swords overtaking you, or three days of the sword of the Lord—days of plague in the land, with the angel of the Lord ravaging every part of Israel.’ Now then, decide how I should answer the one who sent me.”
13 David said to Gad, “I am in deep distress. Let me fall into the hands of the Lord, for his mercy is very great; but do not let me fall into human hands.”
14 So the Lord sent a plague on Israel, and seventy thousand men of Israel fell dead. 15 And God sent an angel to destroy Jerusalem. But as the angel was doing so, the Lord saw it and relented concerning the disaster and said to the angel who was destroying the people, “Enough! Withdraw your hand.” (v7-14)
Creation, fall, redemption, restoration. This is the story of our God, and here we see this happen once again. David had sinned by taking a census of all Israel so that he may know the numbers of fighting men and see how much power he had. This greatly displeased God because David did not trust in the Lord though He had poured down victories and countless blessings. It reminds me of when exams are nearing and us as uni students scramble to calculate how much we need on the final exam in order to get a certain grade. The root of this comes from self-glorification and a lack of trust in God's mighty hands to provide, and rather relying on our own self-sufficiency. So it is with David. So it is with us. To me, this passage is both a warning and comfort from God. Here are a few thoughts.
1) David knew the Lord's mercy
When David was faced with the choice of three punishments, he chose to fall into the hands of the Lord, for his mercy is very great. David knew the Lord had mercy and that it was very great. He knew this because he has witness God at work and experienced His mercy. Even after sinning greatly, David still chose God. We, too, have personally experienced God's mercy and forgiveness of our sin through Jesus' death and resurrection on the cross. But when we sin, we are heavy laden with guilt and shame, that we are too unworthy and that our sin is too great for the cross. But Jesus' death on the cross was never meant to condemn us and scare us away, it is the voice of our Father calling His children back to Him. I want to know and be confident in God's mercy, just like David - though sinful and guilty, still choosing God.
2) The Lord's mercy knows no end
Truly, the Lord is merciful, and His mercy is great. When the angel of the Lord drew his sword over Jerusalem, God's heart must have felt for His beloved people. The Lord saw it and relented. This is mercy. This is grace. This is the loving kindness of our God, that when He sees His children in distress, He relents and has compassion on us. The Israelites had done nothing to repent to the Lord, but God himself chose to extend mercy. Truly, his steadfast love endures forever.
3) God wants our hearts in worship and obedience
God did not destroy Jerusalem, instead He commanded David to go up to the threshing floor and build an altar for him. There, David gave burnt offerings and sacrifices, and prayed to the Lord, and the Lord answered him. What God really wants is our hearts, in worship and obedience to Him. Let that be our prayer today, that we may give Him our hearts, in total surrender, worship and obedience to God.
Tuesday, October 4, 2016
Starting at (The) One,
Earlier this year as I was making a plan for the upcoming year, I had made a diagram of concentric circles that contained all the things that I hoped this year would entail, with God being in the centre of it all. The point was that as I got busier and busier, I could peel away the layers and in the end, even if I had nothing left, my first priority would still be God. But how the months had seasoned my thoughts and these goals had been lost in the motion of it all.
I felt disconnected from youth and my passion for serving faded. Was I to blame the monotonous and repetitive work of management or the people who didn't care to include me in their activities? In that moment, I blamed both. In this moment, I realise that it is neither. It is simply me and my relationship with God that is the key determining factor for my relationships with other people and my passion for serving. I can't put my faith and identity in other people, because people will always fail. It all had to start back at square one, the centre of the circle - just me and God.
I need to love God first, before I can love other people, because this strength comes from above. I need to humble myself before God, acknowledging that I am nothing without Him and I desperately need Him in every moment, before I can serve with a servant-like heart. I need to find the fullness of joy and satisfaction for my soul in reading His Word, first and foremost before I even begin to engage in anything else.
Too often, I pursue the goal of achieving well as a means of glorifying God, but not realising that I am forsaking what is truly important - quiet time spent with my Saviour, getting to know him, loving him and growing into a deeper, more intimate relationship with him. Admitting that I have sinned and that I need his forgiveness everyday, I need to be rooted in God, before I am able to grow. Because God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.
So back to the centre - Jesus.
Thursday, September 15, 2016
Watering The Seed,
Wandering around the supermarket in the fresh foods section, I pick up an apple and stare at it, checking its every groove to see whether it was sweet. I began to think about how hard sweet fruits are to find (if you're not very good at picking fruits like me). Even when the whole process of growing and picking and ageing is the same, for some reason, only a select few are sweet.
It is difficult to produce sweet fruit and so it is the same with our lives. It takes time, energy, sweat and perseverance - it is not easy.
So I cast my mind to this parable that Jesus spoke in Luke 8.
5 “A sower went out to sow his seed. And as he sowed, some fell along the path and was trampled underfoot, and the birds of the air devoured it. 6 And some fell on the rock, and as it grew up, it withered away, because it had no moisture. 7 And some fell amongthorns, and the thorns grew up with it and choked it. 8 And some fell into good soil and grew and yielded a hundredfold.” As he said these things, he called out, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.” (v5-8)
11 Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God. 12 The ones along the path are those who have heard; then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved.13 And the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear the word, receive it with joy. But these have no root; they believe for a while, and in time of testing fall away. 14 And as for what fell among the thorns, they are those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by the cares and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not mature. 15 As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience."
(v11-15)
Jesus says that in order to produce sweet fruit, we must hear the word, retain it and persevere. Why do we persevere? Because it doesn't come easy.
It's easy to just hear the word, because it requires no action. It's easier to focus on what is in front of us - our problems, worries, earthly pleasures - than to focus on what is unseen. But Jesus tells us we need to spend the time and effort watering our seeds, feeding ourselves spiritual food, tasting and seeing that the Lord is good. Ponder and meditate on the Word and persevere even when it gets busy and tough, so that in due season, we can stand against the storms of life and produce good fruit.
Good fruit takes time to grow. An unripened fruit is not as its best, so we must be patient in the seasons of growing. Waiting is hard, not seeing any progress while waiting is even harder. Maybe we can't see any signs of growth, maybe God is working behind the scenes, but it's in these seasons where it is even more important that we continue to water our seeds. For God has said, blessed is the one who waits on the Lord.
Good fruit also needs good soil. We need to plant ourselves in an environment where we can grow and flourish, not where we will be choked and strangled. Remove the toxic influences in our lives that are dragging us down and inhibiting our growth. Continually surround ourselves with brothers and sisters, share the light, water each other in times when we don't have what it takes to water ourselves.
So a challenge for myself and for you, is to water our souls with the word of God daily. Meditate on it day and night so that we may retain it. Share it with a brother or sister and water their souls too. It won't be easy and we will need to be patient, but I believe that God loves sweet fruits, just like I do.
It is difficult to produce sweet fruit and so it is the same with our lives. It takes time, energy, sweat and perseverance - it is not easy.
So I cast my mind to this parable that Jesus spoke in Luke 8.
5 “A sower went out to sow his seed. And as he sowed, some fell along the path and was trampled underfoot, and the birds of the air devoured it. 6 And some fell on the rock, and as it grew up, it withered away, because it had no moisture. 7 And some fell amongthorns, and the thorns grew up with it and choked it. 8 And some fell into good soil and grew and yielded a hundredfold.” As he said these things, he called out, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.” (v5-8)
11 Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God. 12 The ones along the path are those who have heard; then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved.13 And the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear the word, receive it with joy. But these have no root; they believe for a while, and in time of testing fall away. 14 And as for what fell among the thorns, they are those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by the cares and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not mature. 15 As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience."
(v11-15)
Jesus says that in order to produce sweet fruit, we must hear the word, retain it and persevere. Why do we persevere? Because it doesn't come easy.
It's easy to just hear the word, because it requires no action. It's easier to focus on what is in front of us - our problems, worries, earthly pleasures - than to focus on what is unseen. But Jesus tells us we need to spend the time and effort watering our seeds, feeding ourselves spiritual food, tasting and seeing that the Lord is good. Ponder and meditate on the Word and persevere even when it gets busy and tough, so that in due season, we can stand against the storms of life and produce good fruit.
Good fruit takes time to grow. An unripened fruit is not as its best, so we must be patient in the seasons of growing. Waiting is hard, not seeing any progress while waiting is even harder. Maybe we can't see any signs of growth, maybe God is working behind the scenes, but it's in these seasons where it is even more important that we continue to water our seeds. For God has said, blessed is the one who waits on the Lord.
Good fruit also needs good soil. We need to plant ourselves in an environment where we can grow and flourish, not where we will be choked and strangled. Remove the toxic influences in our lives that are dragging us down and inhibiting our growth. Continually surround ourselves with brothers and sisters, share the light, water each other in times when we don't have what it takes to water ourselves.
So a challenge for myself and for you, is to water our souls with the word of God daily. Meditate on it day and night so that we may retain it. Share it with a brother or sister and water their souls too. It won't be easy and we will need to be patient, but I believe that God loves sweet fruits, just like I do.
Saturday, September 3, 2016
I Know Who You Are,
It's been a long few years.
It's September, a new month and season to behold. Yet in these moments, I can't help reflecting on these past few years since rediscovering this unintentionally abandoned space. It's crazy to think that just two years ago, we were holding our awards and trophies, on the edge of our seats to graduate and finally experience life outside of school.
The next season was one of piling responsibilities, stepping outside of our comfort zone and into new, unfamiliar territories of different cities and different universities. More challenges faced than I ever thought I would be able to, not because I was able, but because He was able. Looking back on God's fingerprints all over my life, how could I ever doubt that He has planned my path according to His will and that He will bring me through?
But here I am, in the desert season, believing that God is our wonderful Father who is at work around me, but not quite believing He is working on me. How does one remain faithful in the times when we can't feel his presence, when we don't have obvious signs that He is with us and for us?
We can remain faithful when we know. When we know who God is, that He overflows with mercy and desires for His children to come back to Him. When we know who Jesus is, the kind and compassionate One interceding for us, who has paid the price and torn the veil so that we could come close. When we know the Spirit is living inside of us, renewing us each and everyday. When we know these things, we can trust that God hasn't forgotten us but that He is doing a new thing.
"Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:19
It's September, a new month and season to behold. Yet in these moments, I can't help reflecting on these past few years since rediscovering this unintentionally abandoned space. It's crazy to think that just two years ago, we were holding our awards and trophies, on the edge of our seats to graduate and finally experience life outside of school.
The next season was one of piling responsibilities, stepping outside of our comfort zone and into new, unfamiliar territories of different cities and different universities. More challenges faced than I ever thought I would be able to, not because I was able, but because He was able. Looking back on God's fingerprints all over my life, how could I ever doubt that He has planned my path according to His will and that He will bring me through?
But here I am, in the desert season, believing that God is our wonderful Father who is at work around me, but not quite believing He is working on me. How does one remain faithful in the times when we can't feel his presence, when we don't have obvious signs that He is with us and for us?
We can remain faithful when we know. When we know who God is, that He overflows with mercy and desires for His children to come back to Him. When we know who Jesus is, the kind and compassionate One interceding for us, who has paid the price and torn the veil so that we could come close. When we know the Spirit is living inside of us, renewing us each and everyday. When we know these things, we can trust that God hasn't forgotten us but that He is doing a new thing.
"Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:19
Saturday, May 24, 2014
The Comparison Game,
I flew through my childhood years thinking I was all that. I was fed by the teachers of my little private Christian school that I was intelligent and pretty, spoiled into thinking that I was talented and hard-working. All went well, until I was sent to a public middle school. What horror.
What this part of the world fed me was different than anything I've ever tasted. I was no longer intelligent, because Mary Jiang scored a better mark on her maths exam than I had. I was no longer pretty, because now that we had to learn to do our own hair, my fly-away ponytail was anything but the perfectly tousled blonde hair of the girl who sat in front of me. I was no longer talented - if I was, why was I sent to the back of the orchestra to tap a small glockenspiel balanced on my knees with mismatched sticks, when Stephanie got to stand at the front conducting everyone?
It wasn't even that my previous primary school had under-achieving students or something. Just last week I searched up a blog of my grade 3 best friend where she had written amazing post after amazing post of deep intellectual insights of all the happenings of this complex world we live in. I'm pretty sure my last blog post was just reblogging all the photos that I had already Instagrammed. Oh the shame.
Even now, there are different messages we are fed with. One minute we are told to eat that damn red velvet cupcake and the next, that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. The mantra that there are more important things than our OP scores play on repeat in our minds, but it seems like those digits are something everybody is fighting for at school. Inspirational Instagram photos tell us to love ourselves but that same newsfeed floods us with images of other people's thigh gaps in one flick of a scroll. What we are told doesn't match the reality that we live in.
Over the years, the voices start creeping in. The chatters that splash reality in your face, shoves doubts down your throat, and pushes you into the world of social media, where everyone's "have"s look 37 likes better than your "have not"s.
Then there are the Dove ads that tell you to just beYOUtiful. That everyone is special and unique so you're better off just being yourself. That never worked with me because it felt like majority of my personality components are taken off other people whom I have admired and respected. I remember my younger self deliberating over the thought that if everyone is unique, doesn't that mean there's something we're all similar in?
Before I move on, in no way am I endorsing everyone should not be themselves. That's ridiculous. If you have found confidence in loving yourself and being just the way you are then I take my hats off to you. It's a personal thing really. I just don't like being told I'm perfect JUST THE WAY I AM SO DON'T EVER CHANGE because I'm not perfect - I'm broken and I don't ever want to be comfortable in remaining in who I am. There's just gotta be better quotes out there.
Again, in no way am I suggesting we block out those messages that are meant to uplift us and encourage us. What I'm trying to say is we shouldn't feel like those encouragements, and especially our attributes, should diminish at that of others. Therein is the root of the problem then - the good old comparison game.
I know there's that Steven Furtick quote floating around that we shouldn't compare our behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel. Which is good and absolutely true. In the majority of situations. But what if the best of your achievements, your "highlight reel", still pales in comparison with others? And what if you've seen someone else's "behind the scenes", and it's still more lovely than yours?
Am I suggesting we just don't look at and dwell on other people's successes? Again, no. What are the practicalities of that? Your loved one's successes should be acknowledged and celebrated, not shoved behind the recesses of your mind just because you can't handle their glowing stars compared to your not-so-shiny achievements.
So let's try a different thought.
Maybe the challenge is to not view other people's successes as your failures.
There's no way of denying Shantel is incredibly gifted in her intellectual abilities. But perhaps I shouldn't view her amazing brain capacity as saying it means I am not smart.
There's no way of denying Grace is passionately warm-hearted and open around people. But that doesn't mean I fail at interacting with others.
There's NOO way of denying Tiffany is just going to be the most joyful, room-lighting person you've ever met. Still, that doesn't mean the presence of our other friends are not enjoyed.
Other people's successes are not our failures. Still, work on bettering yourself everyday. You want to be able to say you're not where you want to be, but at least you're not where you're supposed to be. QUOTE OVERLOAD I KNOW. But coming up with deep, insightful quotes is not my forte (but that doesn't mean I'm not capable of ...... you see where I'm going??).
So here are all the things not to do. And what of the things that we should do then? If we are not to view other people's achievements as our failures, what are we supposed to do with ourselves after that?
Take this nugget of thoughts first. When I figure those other bits out, I'll let you know.
What this part of the world fed me was different than anything I've ever tasted. I was no longer intelligent, because Mary Jiang scored a better mark on her maths exam than I had. I was no longer pretty, because now that we had to learn to do our own hair, my fly-away ponytail was anything but the perfectly tousled blonde hair of the girl who sat in front of me. I was no longer talented - if I was, why was I sent to the back of the orchestra to tap a small glockenspiel balanced on my knees with mismatched sticks, when Stephanie got to stand at the front conducting everyone?
It wasn't even that my previous primary school had under-achieving students or something. Just last week I searched up a blog of my grade 3 best friend where she had written amazing post after amazing post of deep intellectual insights of all the happenings of this complex world we live in. I'm pretty sure my last blog post was just reblogging all the photos that I had already Instagrammed. Oh the shame.
But I digress.
Over the years, the voices start creeping in. The chatters that splash reality in your face, shoves doubts down your throat, and pushes you into the world of social media, where everyone's "have"s look 37 likes better than your "have not"s.
Then there are the Dove ads that tell you to just beYOUtiful. That everyone is special and unique so you're better off just being yourself. That never worked with me because it felt like majority of my personality components are taken off other people whom I have admired and respected. I remember my younger self deliberating over the thought that if everyone is unique, doesn't that mean there's something we're all similar in?
Before I move on, in no way am I endorsing everyone should not be themselves. That's ridiculous. If you have found confidence in loving yourself and being just the way you are then I take my hats off to you. It's a personal thing really. I just don't like being told I'm perfect JUST THE WAY I AM SO DON'T EVER CHANGE because I'm not perfect - I'm broken and I don't ever want to be comfortable in remaining in who I am. There's just gotta be better quotes out there.
Again, in no way am I suggesting we block out those messages that are meant to uplift us and encourage us. What I'm trying to say is we shouldn't feel like those encouragements, and especially our attributes, should diminish at that of others. Therein is the root of the problem then - the good old comparison game.
I know there's that Steven Furtick quote floating around that we shouldn't compare our behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel. Which is good and absolutely true. In the majority of situations. But what if the best of your achievements, your "highlight reel", still pales in comparison with others? And what if you've seen someone else's "behind the scenes", and it's still more lovely than yours?
Am I suggesting we just don't look at and dwell on other people's successes? Again, no. What are the practicalities of that? Your loved one's successes should be acknowledged and celebrated, not shoved behind the recesses of your mind just because you can't handle their glowing stars compared to your not-so-shiny achievements.
So let's try a different thought.
Maybe the challenge is to not view other people's successes as your failures.
There's no way of denying Shantel is incredibly gifted in her intellectual abilities. But perhaps I shouldn't view her amazing brain capacity as saying it means I am not smart.
There's no way of denying Grace is passionately warm-hearted and open around people. But that doesn't mean I fail at interacting with others.
There's NOO way of denying Tiffany is just going to be the most joyful, room-lighting person you've ever met. Still, that doesn't mean the presence of our other friends are not enjoyed.
Other people's successes are not our failures. Still, work on bettering yourself everyday. You want to be able to say you're not where you want to be, but at least you're not where you're supposed to be. QUOTE OVERLOAD I KNOW. But coming up with deep, insightful quotes is not my forte (but that doesn't mean I'm not capable of ...... you see where I'm going??).
So here are all the things not to do. And what of the things that we should do then? If we are not to view other people's achievements as our failures, what are we supposed to do with ourselves after that?
Take this nugget of thoughts first. When I figure those other bits out, I'll let you know.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Some Wednesday motivation
“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
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